I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
- Brains are wonderful, why don’t have everyone.
- Trust me you will dance- Alcohol
- I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
- 80% boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain..
- 3 mistakes of everyone’s life–Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp
- If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it 🙂
- Everyone wants to park their vehicles in shade but no one wants to grow trees.
- Is it vodka o’clock yet?
- Keep calm, stay happy.
- I don’t get drunk, i get awesome.
- Great power comes with great electricity bills.
- Do you still hate me?? I don’t care!!
- Life is onetime offers use it well.
- Life is short smile while you still have teeth.
Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3
Friction is a drag.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Hilarious Whatsapp Status
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it
- I’m too shy at first but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit.
- Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
- Stop thinking too much, it’s all right not to know all the answers.
- No one is the reason of your happiness expect you yourself.
- Silent people have the craziest minds.
- Marriage means silent suicide.
- I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
- All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.
- People said to follow your dreams so i went back to bed.
- On the internet you can be anything you want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
A man is as young as the woman he feels.
With all this technology above and under, humanity still hunts down one another.
If Relationship between man and women were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.
“There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” Josh Groban quotes
Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours